Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

LOOK OUT BELOW!

A. Wino Applying For Her Visa...

Whaaaat!? I can't believe they rejected her!? Don't they know she's rich and famous!?



REHAB, The Remix Album:

"They said I needed to go to rehab, and I said no, no, no. Then I was, like, fuck it. I don't want to be another celebrity, drug-addict, cliche that ends up ODing."

Where's the Faith?

C'mon, Mitt, I thought Mormon Jesus had your back? Where's the faith? You know Jesus doesn't like quitters. Even Huckabee has more sack than you. The sad thing is you know that.

You're a fraud, a crook, a flip-flopper! Go back to screwing the little guy while you line you and your fat cat corporate friends' pockets while you simultaneously praise the Lord's name.

You know, Jesus hates hypocrites more than fags, illegal-immigrants, liberals, John McCain and pro-choice advocates. And that's why Jesus hates America. At least the real Jesus from the Bible, not the Republican Jesus.

Hi, my name is Tiki Barber and I'm a fucking douche bag...

Actually, I found this picture under the heading: "Never doubt Tiki". I have no idea what douchebag named this photo, but it was probably some guy named Ronde.

Don't let Tiki's million dollar smile, Italian Suit, or 12 inch pet anachonda fool you. He is not a nice guy, nor cool. Tiki Barber is now officially the biggest bag stabbing, douche-bag in all of sports. And it will now be anything but hard not to doubt Tiki, especially when he's making live in game analysis of players. Yeah, you know I'll really take what he says to heart the next time he is sizing up a player on national television. This is Tiki, man, and his name is congruent with credibility. After-all, this is the football guru who retired at the peak of his career so he could write a tell all book about how his quarterback was a total pussy that folds under the least amount of pressure, would never lead his team to a super-bowl, and that he might as well retire as long as he was quarterback.

Well, apparently Eli couldn't lead his team to victory when he had a big mouthed runningback talking shit behind his back in the locker room all day instead of supporting the young kid who had a tremendous amount of pressure on him-youngest Manning, number 1 pick, and playing in New York. You'd think Tiki could be the all around nice guy we all know him to be and show the kid a little support, or at least be a good teammate/sportsman and keep his big mouth shut.

Nah, Tiki prefers to stab his teammates in the back. And that's why Tiki is the all time biggest douchebag of a teammate in the history of all sports. I can't wait until he has to announce Eli's first game back next season. No, I can't wait until he has to show his face in New York again.



Aahahaaahahaha!

The Way God Intended it to be

Why is Rambo Back?

Because America needs a good old-fashion revenge movie to help us feel tough and all-powerful again. What better way to sooth the sting of our bruised, bloated tough guy, All-American egos then with Hollywood reality? Kick ASS! Sad thing is I’m going to see this movie. Yeah, I’m a chump. I like movies that make me feel tough when I walk out of the theater.

Maybe, if we’re lucky Chuck Norris will bring back the Delta Force and Invasion U.S.A and shit, but this time with Arab terrorists instead of Russians.

Man, do I miss the Russians as bad guys in movies. They were so bad ass.

We Have Our Own Brains...

...we just choose not to use them, sometimes, kind of like you arrogant American intellectuals. After-all, we're all equally human. Thus, equally flawed in our hypocritical, grandiose, self-righteous natures. Oh, and my cock is this big. And ha, we have nukes too! See, we're just as civilized as you arrogant Westerners! Nanny, nanny, boo, boo! I do what I want!