THE STORY PROJECT

It's always a great way to start the day when the teacher leaves you a stack of referral forms on the desk. Not to mention, the note about how her class is completely uncontrollable is nice too.

I don't blame her for the prior apologies she left in her note concerning her classes' behavior. It's pretty typical throughout LAUSD. An atypical day would be the class being well-behaved and ready to learn.

What is ADHD?

As if I needed a form instructing me "what to look for" when I have thirty-plus kids a class that I see on a daily basis who display the symptoms. However, sometimes I do mistake crackbabies, victims of fetal alcohol syndrome, drug addicts, alcoholics, bratz, lazy asses, and snarky little shits for kids with ADHD. What I really need is a pamphlet that helps me discern the subtle differences in a politically correct manner that isn't objectionable to anyone's idealistic snow globes.

I look up and see this note on the wall while I watch the kids do absolutely nothing of importance aside from talking about stuff that they think is really important but doesn't mean shit. I've given up trying to gain control or enlighten them in any way. Even though they can barely read or write they know and have experienced everything. They think they should teach me, which they do in their own ways.

Oh well, not even the real teacher can control the kids. And according to one of her aides I'm doing a good job. She says I'm being really patient with them, but it's really because after three years of giving a shit I'm just too tired to give a shit anymore. But at least I got them to read the first page of their two page reading assignment during the first half-hour of class, which is more than they usually do. It was like pulling teeth.

Read 25 books? When? In their life-time? What kind of "books"? The fifty page ones with the three-inch type? Shit, I don't know what's sadder: that they don't care or that I don't care anymore?



Somebody put this on my back during fifth period. I was in the library during my "planning period", which I spent watching a teacher deal with the class I just had. I didn't have to be there, but went there to jot some stuff down in my notebook. I thought it would be quiet.
Anyways, a kid must have put it on me while the class was getting their learn on in the library.

The librarian was going over the "The Story Project" with the raucous class as the class's teacher ran around screaming in an effort to get them all to sit down and pay attention. "The Story Project" is a way for Hollywood to give back to the community while sending their kids to private school. It's a way for them to get their hands dirty without really getting their hands dirty, so they can look in the mirror each day they get home and say: "I'm beautiful, and I'm a good person. See, it's not my fault, it's somebody else's." Here are a few of the kids responses to the story project:

STUDENT 1
"How fun is it going to be?"

LIBRARIAN

"A lot of fun. You're going to meet industry professionals and they're going to teach you."

STUDENT 1

"Do we have to read and write?"

STUDENT 2

"Are there explosions?"

STUDENT 3

"Do people die?"

STUDENT 4

"Is there blood?"

STUDENT 5

"What about hot bitc... I mean hot chicks?"

STUDENT 6
"Do we have to read and write?"

STUDENT 7
"Do we have to work hard?"

STUDENT 8
"Do we have to pay attention?"

STUDENT 9

"Do we have to do anything besides stare at the screen?"

LIBRARIAN
Yes, you have to work hard, read, and write. And no to all the other questions.

MAJORITY OF THE STUDENTS
"Ah, shit, that's gay then."

TEACHER
Watch your mouths!

The "students" complain some more about the assignment they have to do after the librarian finishes up his lecture on The Story Project. It's all background music to me as I read the paper and jot in my notebook. However, I heard an interesting come back from the teacher to one of her student's generic responses to work that entails something like:

STUDENT

"This is boring, blah, blah, blah. I can't learn because it's boring. How do you expect me to work if it's boring? You're a bad teacher because it's boring. I can't learn because it's boring. It's not my fault because it's boring. Wah, wah, wah."

TEACHER
"Boring, boring, boring. Everything is boring because my name is _______ and I'm boring"

I also ran into a parent in the library. I guess she volunteers at the school or something. Good for her, the school needs more volunteers. But the crazy thing is she bragged to me about her kid's behavior problems. She was beaming when she mentioned her kid _______ was the biggest terror in my infamous 3rd period class, which every teacher who has them (and especially her kid) can't stand. However, according to his mother: "He's just a little sweetheart at heart who needs love and attention". I failed to inform her that her son is an obnoxious, misogynistic little shit who needs some discipline and respect, among other things (like he needs to learn to read and write already).

So, that was pretty much my day. The only other thing of note that happened was that I saw a bunch of the kids at school that I know (strongly suspect) smoke pot and do drugs walk down to the corner of Venice and Walgrove to buy drugs from the high school kids. I saw them exchange handshakes with bills and baggies in their hands. They even about jumped out of their clothes when they heard a cop's sirens blip from the other side of the street. When they noticed the cops were chasing a car in the opposite direction they went back to conversing and making exchanges with the middle school kids. If I would have been thinking I would have took a picture. I didn't think of it until just now, though. I think I'll go back tomorrow and take a picture. Hopefully, they'll be there again. I have a feeling they will be.