Thursday, July 9, 2009

The "Revolution" in Iran

REVOLUTION! YEAH! Yeah, right...

According to the Washington post "thousands" of protesters hit the streets today in Tehran. For some odd reason Reuters reported about 250 people showed up. Regardless of the descrepancy in numbers that's a lot of people in a city of 12 million!


Revoluti... Oh shit, I'm a rich Iranian kid who has an interview at Oxford and Berkeley next semester! I better get done setting this trashcan on fire quick -- and thus freeing my country -- so I can get home before dinner. I have to be well-rested and well-fed in order to make an informed decision about what Western country I will move to, so I can bitch and moan about how awful the West is instead of standing and fighting (getting shot in the head or tortured by my self-righteous, megalomanic countrymen).

Dream on...twitter.

A disturbing course of events on X-Box live


So, I was playing BomberMan live on X-box live. Of course, it was chalked full of shit-talking, illiterate pre-teens and teenagers whose favorite words are: faggot, homo, gay, nigger, bitch, cunt, loser, bitch, fuck, shit, and basically any other awesome word you can think of within the lexicon of vocabulary that makes up the bright future of America. Of course, I play anyways, especially when I'm drunk (like now). However, I usually just turn their voices on mute, but this time I didn't for some odd reason (maybe b/c I was drunk).

Anyways, these two punk asses were dropping the most "f", "n" and "gay-faggot" bombs I've ever heard in my life. I figured they were just some punk-asses because their voices were about as deep as twelve year olds. Well, to make a long story short one of them had their web-cam on and was broadcasting to the world his awesomeness. It turns out that he was a teenage father playing "Bomberman" with his four year old kid. I swear to the Lord almighty that the father couldn't have been more than seventeen years old. And to top it off he was teaching his kid to talk as much awesome shit as he. Awe, like father like son. And the government wants me to pay for dip-shits like these health-insurance? Fuck, we're screwed.

Oh, and Massauchausets is not a good model for universal health insurance. It's one of the most affluent, highly educated states in the Union and it barely works. There's no way that it would work in say, Mississipi or California where half the population is a bunch of lazy, uneducated, fat-asses on welfare. But that's just my opinion, and my opinion doesn't really matter because I don't tell people what they want to hear. I tell them the truth. And the truth of the matter is I need another drink.

One more hard truth: it's a scientific fact that Americans are getting fatter, lazier, stupider, and more full-of-shit by the nanosecond. So, how does that translate to the economy rebounding on rocket-boosters? Or us maintaining the proverbial #1 label? I have no fucking clue, but then again I work at Safeway. But like the training video said: "We're simply the best!" I'm almost drunk enough to believe it right about now.

I'm lovin' it!

All these politicians taking "100%" responsibility! After they get caught, of course!



Thanks, Sen. John Ensign of Nevada. That was really big of you owning up to your extra-marital affair after you got caught.

I wonder how many percent of responsibility these politicians would have taken if they would have gotten away with it? Hmmmmm...just a wild guess, but maybe zero?!

God bless, America. We take hypocrisy to a whole other level.

So, Obama, when are we going to borrow some more money from China for another social welfare stimulus plan while looking the other way as they tred all over the human right's of their own citizens? Hopefully, soon b/c my job at baggin' it up at Safeway just isn't cutting it. Livin' the dream, baby. Livin' the dream.