As Cormac McCarthy once said about the world: "...it is, a hat trick in a medicine show..."

Anything, is a possible. Then again, it could all be a bunch of bull-shit. Depends on how you look at it, I guess.

I wasn't going to go here, but the door was opened for me. Therefore, I just have to go where no self-serving, politically correct white man has gone before.

"Bring it, Obama. No wait, I want to be secretary of state. Stick your cock down my throat, skull fuck me for all my ideas, policies, and appointments, call them your own, and to top it off rob me of my remaining dignity by blowing a fat load of jizz all over my face. And don't forget to get some in my eyes!"


"Yeah, you're my bitch now."

Whaaaat? Barack Obama's well-written, eloquent speeches aren't spoken from the heart? They're written by an over-privleged, Ivy-League, white boy. Whaaat? I wonder if Barack even wrote his own books. No, wait, they're not nearly as well-written as his speeches. Maybe, just maybe, he isn't the great brown hope we all hoped for? Oh well, shit happens. Just ask this guy.

By-the-way, I have nothing against Obama. I actually voted for him, but not b/c I think he's the "answer" or "change" we are looking for. He was just the lesser of two evils, as usual but in a different color. If his name was Jim Smith, he was white, had the same voice, same ideas, and spoke the exact same way no one would have been excited about his promise of "hope" and "change". I think a lot of people just got caught up in a cosmetic, superficial fad like most Americans do these days. He was an easy answer with an excellent sales pitch. I truly hope he proves me wrong, but then again hope hasn't gotten me very far in life. I'm just curbing my enthusiasm is all, Larry David style.

Cruel World, Indeed...

Well, I've been slacking on the blog thing because of the new book I'm working on -- an accessible, exciting, action-packed one full of hope (because hope sells regardless if it's false or full of hot air) -- but I'd thought I'd spread some holiday cheer. Check it out:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081204/ap_on_re_us/proposal_death

Anyways, it's concerning a 20 something mail-order, Filipino bride and her 45 year old hillbilly, dream-boat of a man who she left the Philippines for. Basically, he proposed to her on a dangerous portion of the Oregon coast, she fell in, and all 4' 11'', 93 lbs. of her was swept away by the riptide. Now, I realize this is a horrible tragedy, but even I know that sleeper waves and their riptides are extremely strong this time of year. Why couldn't this local man wait until summer to propose, or at the very least not propose so close to the water? Damn, some people just don't think. And when people don't think, shit like this happens. Keep the dream alive, America. Don't think! There's always someone else to blame or solve your problems for you!


Oh, and I'd like to say my first "novel" was full of hope too. I just didn't pitch it right. I focused too much on the cynical/satirical/social commentary aspects of it. And frankly, that shit don't sell. Hope sells, the hard truth doesn't (at least at this point in history). Therefore, I'm going to resubmit it using a more upbeat, hopeful slant to it. It's going to go something like this:

Be the change you wish to see in the world. Change starts in the mind. For the world to truly change then people themselves, as individuals must change (humanity must change). Someone can’t do it (change) for us, no matter how optimistic they are. God said to Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ: "It is arrogance to try to save the world-save yourself”. That is how you bring about true change. That is true hope. And that is what the Land of Lost Dreams is about: changing ones’ self serving dreams (mentality) into something greater. A true change must be conceived in the mind for it to be transformed into action. It will not be easy, for anyone. This is the story of one man’s arduous journey of change through the mind which leads to consequent action in the land where dreams are bought, packaged, and sold to the highest (and sometimes lowest) bidder.

So, that's how I'm going to frame the new pitch, while I work on my science-fiction novel that is accessible and exciting for all. However, it's a more of a hard science fiction/horror novel. The kind of speculative fiction novel that one would read and say: "Hey, that's not science fiction-that could really happen." Anyways, it's a money maker and that's all publishers really give a shit about anyway. No one wants to take any risks, even if the risk is worth while. Oh well, I'll quit my bitching and get back to writing it. But for those of you that care here's the angry rant I wrote to myself the other day concerning the responses I've been getting to The Land of Lost Dreams:

So, I kind of feel like Stephen Crane circa 1896 when he had a great book to publish, but couldn’t find a publisher because it didn’t fit into mainstream American literary theory. At the time American publishers were focused on Victorian style novels that had a moralistic message; not on books that were realistic. I feel we’re in a similar situation these days, except publishers are obsessed with pumping out books full of “hope”, whether or not the “hope” they sell is false, contrived or complete bullshit doesn’t seem to bother them. It’s what they think sells. And maybe it does, but I’m sorry “hope” in itself isn’t enough. You can “hope” all you want but that doesn’t necessarily change the reality of the matter. A change of one’s mentality that leads to a change in action is what is necessary for real change. “Hope” in itself is just a fairy tale-another easy solution for weak-minded Americans.

At any rate, I’m getting plenty of positive response from editors and agents, but most of them chalk their rejections up to “I like your idea, I like what you sent, but there’s not enough “hope”, “I like what you sent, but I don’t think this is the right time for your book” (What the fuck? This is the perfect time! I guess it doesn’t pay to be way ahead of the curve these days), or “keep writing and try to instill some more hope”. Sorry, I guess I was too realistic. I wish I could offer the people of America an easy solution, but I’m just offering a snap-shot of one man’s mind that’s caught up in a mentality driven by the contemporary American dream of excess, self-gratification, and self-entitlement. But the thing is: there is hope in the book. It’s just that the “hope” isn’t some crack-pot’s easy solution that says: “Read this book and all your problems will be solved” or “Read this book and you will be so filled with hope that all your problems will be solved”. This book is not “you do”. Change is an arduous process that begins in the mind (completely changing one’s mentality), and in-turn leads to action. Change is not merely “hoping”. Yeah, I “hoped” my heart out that my mother wouldn’t die of cancer, but that wasn’t enough. There isn’t any difference between my mother’s cancer and the cancerous mentality that the majority of Americans (and humans in general) hold. This mentality is what got us into this mess, and merely “hoping” isn’t going to change shit. That’s the reality. Sad but true. Sorry.

Anyways, I’m going to self-publish on Lulu and link the book to this blog. On second thought, I probably won't do this because I'm broke and I want to do a second round of submissions. But if I do, please buy it. I’ll provide some sample chapters on this blog so you can see what you’re getting yourself into. I’m also contemplating selling them at Powell’s books in Portland. Or maybe I’ll just give them away (on-line and in person like a bum on the street peddling for change, except I’ll be peddling my book)? At this point I just want people to read it because I feel like 10-20 years from now people will be saying: “Damn, at least one American didn’t have his head up his ass”. Besides, I’m working on a highly sellable novel at the moment that is accessible to all, thought provoking, and a true “page-turner”. It’s the kind of book that could be spin-off into a series (books as well as films, mini-series, or graphic novels). That’s all I’m going to say about them until I finish the first book.

So what happened to Stephen Crane’s book? After being universally rejected in America it was published in the U.K. It became a big hit in the U.K., and then became a big hit in the U.S. Go figure. I guess I should try to get in contact with some U.K. publishers/editors/agents. Until then I’ll try the self-publishing thing (maybe). I’m in the process of obtaining a digital copy of a painting that I think is perfect for the cover of “The Land of Lost Dreams” from my friend Michael Pacheco. He’s great. I hope it all works out, for everyone-including you.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I hope you stuff yourselves full of hope, then shit it all out the next day!