Celebrity Rehab: The Cure...

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Roseanne has a point...

Albeit, she could have made her point less venemously and excluded bringing innocent (until they grow up) children into the fray.

Her point is that Hollywood "royalty", as the douche-bag synchophats on celebrity t.v. shows like to call them, are a bunch of stinking hypocrites the size of which only pales in comparison to their self-righteous egos.

People like Jolie and Pitt (and the California elite in general) love to parade around how self-righteous and enlightened they are to the rest of the country/world. And if everyone could just be a little more like them the world would be picture perfect like an air-brushed photo on the cover of Vanity Fair.

The thing is: the world cannot support the California/West-Coast/Hollywood lifestyle that they perpetuate through their life-styles and films. The amount of resources Brangelina consume has to be astounding compared to the average American. I'd love to know the combined carbon foot-print of the Hollywood/West Coast elite compared to the average Midwestern and Southerner who they love to demonize. I'm sure it's a lot because California already pollutes more than the rest of the country combined.

And while it was distasteful for Roseanne to bring Brangelina's kids into the fray she has a point when she say they'll come out "dunces". Those kids are going to be so spoiled that by the time they reach adult-hood they might as well have grown up as white, spoiled, Beverly Hills brats who consume far more than their fair share of the world's resources.

People just don't seem to get it that everything has to change-our lifestyles, mentalities, economies, governments, etc. The sad truth is that humanity learns the hard way. As long as we hold onto the same consumerist, "me, me, me, I'm so fucking special" mentalities nothing is going to really change. That is, until the bottom falls out on our shaky foundations and we're drowning in our own bull-shit.

Until that day happens I'm finding higher ground.

Peace.

Oh, and I like Bragelina. I just think they're well-paid pawns to a system that they think they're helping to fight/change when in reality they're just perpetuating it despite their self-righteous, ego-stroking efforts. After-all, Hollywood types really aren't that smart and can't see anything outside their own little, individual boxes of greatness.

Go Hollywood hypocrites! Keep on making the psychotic movies that teach kids that they can't be happy without a bunch of cool stuff they don't need! People like you will truly save the world someday-by inadvertently helping to destroy it first so it can be rebuilt.

Peace, out.

If you want racism, you'll see it everywhere you look...

So what's all the fuss about this picture being racist? Honestly, the first thing that came to mind when I saw this picture was: "Hey, that's Lebron with a really hot woman (I didn't realize it was Giselse)". My first thought wasn't: "Hey, that's a black man with a white woman", let alone "Hey, that's a black man posing like king kong about to violently impose himself on a white woman". I have no idea what kind of paranoid, race mongering "activist/scholar" came up with that one.

I don't know, maybe it's because I was raised to look beyond race, but it didn't even register in my brain that Lebron was black when I saw this picture. I just saw him as Lebron, the really badass basketball player that I'm a fan of. So, the ability for me to jump to the conclusion that this picture was racist wasn't even a possibility for me because I don't usually look at the world through a racial microscope in search of the microbe racism.

Sometimes, I think multi-cultural/ethnic study "activist/scholars" in this country get way too carried away with the race issue. Their ability to find racism in almost anything from a candy wrapper to a sexy picture is truly incredible and worth every tax dollar we spend on keeping them as faculty at respected public universities. I kind of see them like the characters in the movie Numbers or Pi. If you're paranoid and obsessive enough about something you'll be able to see it everywhere. Kind of like Jim Carrey seeing patterns with numbers everywhere he looks or the main character from PI who drives himself crazy because he just can't let the number go. The same is true with "scholars" that see racism everywhere because that's all they think about all the time. They need to let it go a little bit before they drive themselves crazy, and the general public along with them. Despite their obsession with race, there truly are people out there who don't think about it when they're dealing with people in everyday life. It'll be a truly a great day for the world when we can all do that. Of course, once that happens these "activist/scholars" will be out of the job.

Oh, and check out this article by Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star regarding the Lebron/Gisele photo shoot. He's a great sportswriter and is a pretty funny guy too. He makes a great point about how no one has a problem with Tyler Perry using negative black stereo types to make millions, but how everyone was up in arms about this sexy pic in Vogue.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/7955740/Am-I-supposed-to-be-mad-
about-LeBron?

Brett Michaels Valtrex Commericial!

"Thanks to Valtrex, only 3 out of the 10 girls Brett Michaels boned last week caught herpes!"

*We're not so sure about other communicable diseases.

Okay, so I saw this show for the first time the other night. Man, if that fucking doucebag didn't catch herpes back in the 80's he's the luckiest douchebag, du-rag wearing, motherfucker ever. Man, I can't believe this guy is scoring like that. No wait, I saw the girls on the show. They're even bigger douchebag, bitches than him. Well, almost.

The show and the people on it kind of remind me of that song "Fake Plastic Trees". Man, no wonder this country is going to shit (or possibly already has.

Fuck shaving my head when I go bald. I'm wearing headbands. That's so fucking cool! I wonder if Brett will still be sporting a sweet headband and extensions when he's sixty?

Notice how when he was younger the top of his du-rag was on the bottom of his hairline. Now the top of the du-rag is almost on top of his head.

Rock on, Brett Michaels! You're even more badass than you were in the '80s. Soooooo, weak.

Axl even has enough rock 'n roll class not to do a show like that, thank God. He is much too bad ass for that. Then again, Axl is probably broke and in jail right now too.

And the winner is!

Big Ass, No Tits...

Congratulations on subjecting your body to the scrutiny of millions of asshole Americans!
Check her out at www.egotastic.com

Girl would have never made it as a stripper in L.A. Inglewood, maybe. Minnesota, definitely.
Good thing this girl can write.

I wonder how many dirty old men in Minnesota are telling stories in a bar right now about how they got a lap-dance from an Oscar winner?

That's not to say I wouldn't totally rock that. Well, if I didn't already have a girlfriend. God damn it, I just can't help myself. She's going to kill me for saying that.

No hard feelings, Diablo. First your body, then your mind, and finally your soul. Welcome to L.A. Stay clean, baby. If you turn into the Amy Winehouse or Brittany Spears of writing I'm going to shoot myself. Anyways, we all love you so. Keep up the great work!

America will buckle underneath the weight of the pillars of our society...

...not to mention the rest of the human race as well...

A. Wino Applying For Her Visa...

Whaaaat!? I can't believe they rejected her!? Don't they know she's rich and famous!?



REHAB, The Remix Album:

"They said I needed to go to rehab, and I said no, no, no. Then I was, like, fuck it. I don't want to be another celebrity, drug-addict, cliche that ends up ODing."

Why is Rambo Back?

Because America needs a good old-fashion revenge movie to help us feel tough and all-powerful again. What better way to sooth the sting of our bruised, bloated tough guy, All-American egos then with Hollywood reality? Kick ASS! Sad thing is I’m going to see this movie. Yeah, I’m a chump. I like movies that make me feel tough when I walk out of the theater.

Maybe, if we’re lucky Chuck Norris will bring back the Delta Force and Invasion U.S.A and shit, but this time with Arab terrorists instead of Russians.

Man, do I miss the Russians as bad guys in movies. They were so bad ass.

DARK DAYS, INDEED

The day I turned twenty-nine will always be remembered as the day Heath Ledger died. Damn, dude was only two-months younger than me. Then the stock-market almost crashed, a suicide bomber blew up a school in Iraq, and there was a crazy bank robbery in L.A. complete with money raining from the sky. Happy Birthday! I guess my luck is infectious.

Bob Marley said it best...

"now you get what you want, don't you want more"...



R.I.P., young prince of America, we are merely your greedy, voyeuristic paupers looking for our next fix from behind the judgmental safety of our t.v. and computer screens. After-all, this is America and it's nobodies fault but everybody else's.





I guess the dream wasn't enough to fill your greedy soul. But it's not your fault, you're only human. Poor guy. Maybe humanity can learn from your loss, or maybe not? It'll be just another night on the town for the Laguna Beach/Hills crowd, and you'll be the hot gossip for a week or two. Then everyone will forget, and move onto devouring the soul of their next victim of stardom. We just can't get enough, it's in our natures.

We love to raise 'em high, and then burn 'em down. Just ask this young princess of America.





God have mercy on our dirty little hearts.

Britney just can't get enough, and neither can we. People like to say it was just a matter of time before she went insane, but the fact of the matter is the American public went insane a long time ago. That's why our society creates people like this. These children are the harvest of the seeds we have sown in our society.

Sometimes things don't work out the way we planned, especially in L.A.

Where did she go wrong? Everything was going so well. She was going to be a big star, on-top of the world like the millions of lost dreamers that flock to this great land of ours every day.

After-all, you know you've hit it big when you're doing photo-ops for the guys who get off on pictures of hot chicks with guns. Next thing you know you'll be hangin' with the biggest meth dealer in the country, doing your meth for free, and kidnapping and torturing people for kicks.

Or maybe not, another one bites the dust.