Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Chrysler: Thanks for investing in us, America

What, you mean I had a choice? Great, thanks. Investing in failure and hollow dreams is one of my favorite, All-American past-times. Merry motherfucking X___________mas. Thanks for the lump of coal, Santa; I mean Uncle Sam.



Wow, if they followed through on any of the things that "Chrysler is committed to" they wouldn't have gotten into this mess in the first place. I guess, the last thirty years of mismanagement, shotty engineering, and ugly cars will just be their version of a Mulligan. Besides, we shouldn't have expected an American car company to provide: "cars and trucks you want to buy, enjoy driving, and will want to buy again", "deliver products with the best quality and value", and "improve fuel economy" on their own. I mean, that's just crazy, especially when the Japs and Krauts can do it for us!

After-all, that's the real American dream-to have someone else do it for you and make a shit-ton of money at the same time! Hard work, innovation, tenacity, accountability, etc.-those are just myths of the past! Money for nothing! We can have it all! Now that's the future. Shit.

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