THE STORY PROJECT

It's always a great way to start the day when the teacher leaves you a stack of referral forms on the desk. Not to mention, the note about how her class is completely uncontrollable is nice too.

I don't blame her for the prior apologies she left in her note concerning her classes' behavior. It's pretty typical throughout LAUSD. An atypical day would be the class being well-behaved and ready to learn.

What is ADHD?

As if I needed a form instructing me "what to look for" when I have thirty-plus kids a class that I see on a daily basis who display the symptoms. However, sometimes I do mistake crackbabies, victims of fetal alcohol syndrome, drug addicts, alcoholics, bratz, lazy asses, and snarky little shits for kids with ADHD. What I really need is a pamphlet that helps me discern the subtle differences in a politically correct manner that isn't objectionable to anyone's idealistic snow globes.

I look up and see this note on the wall while I watch the kids do absolutely nothing of importance aside from talking about stuff that they think is really important but doesn't mean shit. I've given up trying to gain control or enlighten them in any way. Even though they can barely read or write they know and have experienced everything. They think they should teach me, which they do in their own ways.

Oh well, not even the real teacher can control the kids. And according to one of her aides I'm doing a good job. She says I'm being really patient with them, but it's really because after three years of giving a shit I'm just too tired to give a shit anymore. But at least I got them to read the first page of their two page reading assignment during the first half-hour of class, which is more than they usually do. It was like pulling teeth.

Read 25 books? When? In their life-time? What kind of "books"? The fifty page ones with the three-inch type? Shit, I don't know what's sadder: that they don't care or that I don't care anymore?



Somebody put this on my back during fifth period. I was in the library during my "planning period", which I spent watching a teacher deal with the class I just had. I didn't have to be there, but went there to jot some stuff down in my notebook. I thought it would be quiet.
Anyways, a kid must have put it on me while the class was getting their learn on in the library.

The librarian was going over the "The Story Project" with the raucous class as the class's teacher ran around screaming in an effort to get them all to sit down and pay attention. "The Story Project" is a way for Hollywood to give back to the community while sending their kids to private school. It's a way for them to get their hands dirty without really getting their hands dirty, so they can look in the mirror each day they get home and say: "I'm beautiful, and I'm a good person. See, it's not my fault, it's somebody else's." Here are a few of the kids responses to the story project:

STUDENT 1
"How fun is it going to be?"

LIBRARIAN

"A lot of fun. You're going to meet industry professionals and they're going to teach you."

STUDENT 1

"Do we have to read and write?"

STUDENT 2

"Are there explosions?"

STUDENT 3

"Do people die?"

STUDENT 4

"Is there blood?"

STUDENT 5

"What about hot bitc... I mean hot chicks?"

STUDENT 6
"Do we have to read and write?"

STUDENT 7
"Do we have to work hard?"

STUDENT 8
"Do we have to pay attention?"

STUDENT 9

"Do we have to do anything besides stare at the screen?"

LIBRARIAN
Yes, you have to work hard, read, and write. And no to all the other questions.

MAJORITY OF THE STUDENTS
"Ah, shit, that's gay then."

TEACHER
Watch your mouths!

The "students" complain some more about the assignment they have to do after the librarian finishes up his lecture on The Story Project. It's all background music to me as I read the paper and jot in my notebook. However, I heard an interesting come back from the teacher to one of her student's generic responses to work that entails something like:

STUDENT

"This is boring, blah, blah, blah. I can't learn because it's boring. How do you expect me to work if it's boring? You're a bad teacher because it's boring. I can't learn because it's boring. It's not my fault because it's boring. Wah, wah, wah."

TEACHER
"Boring, boring, boring. Everything is boring because my name is _______ and I'm boring"

I also ran into a parent in the library. I guess she volunteers at the school or something. Good for her, the school needs more volunteers. But the crazy thing is she bragged to me about her kid's behavior problems. She was beaming when she mentioned her kid _______ was the biggest terror in my infamous 3rd period class, which every teacher who has them (and especially her kid) can't stand. However, according to his mother: "He's just a little sweetheart at heart who needs love and attention". I failed to inform her that her son is an obnoxious, misogynistic little shit who needs some discipline and respect, among other things (like he needs to learn to read and write already).

So, that was pretty much my day. The only other thing of note that happened was that I saw a bunch of the kids at school that I know (strongly suspect) smoke pot and do drugs walk down to the corner of Venice and Walgrove to buy drugs from the high school kids. I saw them exchange handshakes with bills and baggies in their hands. They even about jumped out of their clothes when they heard a cop's sirens blip from the other side of the street. When they noticed the cops were chasing a car in the opposite direction they went back to conversing and making exchanges with the middle school kids. If I would have been thinking I would have took a picture. I didn't think of it until just now, though. I think I'll go back tomorrow and take a picture. Hopefully, they'll be there again. I have a feeling they will be.

Opening Day, Same as Yesterday....

Opening day, same as yesterday.
The day when everyone has a chance to be a winner, a chance to win the world series. Well, at least if you're not the Pittsburgh Pirates or the Tampa Bay "Rays" (formerly known as the "Devil Rays"). I'd like to think I'm neither. I'm more a Colorado Rockey myself-talented, but disappointing. Well, this year it's all going to change. I finished the last edit of my novel "The Land of Lost Dreams" and will be posting excerpts on the blog soon (like, this week).

I swear, I will not procrastinate any longer:

I will not publish blogs and/or pics days or weeks after they were taken (kind of like these lazy-daze pics taken before opening day yesterday).

I will improve upon my blog.

I will submit, submit, submit.

I will keep not smoking cigarettes (24 days and counting).

I will get the hell out of "The Vortex" (aka: Los Angeles).

I will stay in shape.

I will not complain as much.

I will try to be content (as much as a human being can living within a consumer world).



Okay, today is my opening day. I hope history doesn't repeat itself. So, here's to going yard this year, same as last year?...

If you want racism, you'll see it everywhere you look...

So what's all the fuss about this picture being racist? Honestly, the first thing that came to mind when I saw this picture was: "Hey, that's Lebron with a really hot woman (I didn't realize it was Giselse)". My first thought wasn't: "Hey, that's a black man with a white woman", let alone "Hey, that's a black man posing like king kong about to violently impose himself on a white woman". I have no idea what kind of paranoid, race mongering "activist/scholar" came up with that one.

I don't know, maybe it's because I was raised to look beyond race, but it didn't even register in my brain that Lebron was black when I saw this picture. I just saw him as Lebron, the really badass basketball player that I'm a fan of. So, the ability for me to jump to the conclusion that this picture was racist wasn't even a possibility for me because I don't usually look at the world through a racial microscope in search of the microbe racism.

Sometimes, I think multi-cultural/ethnic study "activist/scholars" in this country get way too carried away with the race issue. Their ability to find racism in almost anything from a candy wrapper to a sexy picture is truly incredible and worth every tax dollar we spend on keeping them as faculty at respected public universities. I kind of see them like the characters in the movie Numbers or Pi. If you're paranoid and obsessive enough about something you'll be able to see it everywhere. Kind of like Jim Carrey seeing patterns with numbers everywhere he looks or the main character from PI who drives himself crazy because he just can't let the number go. The same is true with "scholars" that see racism everywhere because that's all they think about all the time. They need to let it go a little bit before they drive themselves crazy, and the general public along with them. Despite their obsession with race, there truly are people out there who don't think about it when they're dealing with people in everyday life. It'll be a truly a great day for the world when we can all do that. Of course, once that happens these "activist/scholars" will be out of the job.

Oh, and check out this article by Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star regarding the Lebron/Gisele photo shoot. He's a great sportswriter and is a pretty funny guy too. He makes a great point about how no one has a problem with Tyler Perry using negative black stereo types to make millions, but how everyone was up in arms about this sexy pic in Vogue.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/7955740/Am-I-supposed-to-be-mad-
about-LeBron?

Brett Michaels Valtrex Commericial!

"Thanks to Valtrex, only 3 out of the 10 girls Brett Michaels boned last week caught herpes!"

*We're not so sure about other communicable diseases.

Okay, so I saw this show for the first time the other night. Man, if that fucking doucebag didn't catch herpes back in the 80's he's the luckiest douchebag, du-rag wearing, motherfucker ever. Man, I can't believe this guy is scoring like that. No wait, I saw the girls on the show. They're even bigger douchebag, bitches than him. Well, almost.

The show and the people on it kind of remind me of that song "Fake Plastic Trees". Man, no wonder this country is going to shit (or possibly already has.

Fuck shaving my head when I go bald. I'm wearing headbands. That's so fucking cool! I wonder if Brett will still be sporting a sweet headband and extensions when he's sixty?

Notice how when he was younger the top of his du-rag was on the bottom of his hairline. Now the top of the du-rag is almost on top of his head.

Rock on, Brett Michaels! You're even more badass than you were in the '80s. Soooooo, weak.

Axl even has enough rock 'n roll class not to do a show like that, thank God. He is much too bad ass for that. Then again, Axl is probably broke and in jail right now too.

THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL...

"Cheney to Mideast with "rich agenda" on oil, peace."

Apparently, this is the new face of peace, just look at that permanent smirk and those disdainful eyes. He's probably calculating how much richer he's going to be, and how that may make him feel at peace.

Bush kind of looks scared and confused as usual, but he doesn't seem to have that blind arrogant air about him anymore. He kind of looks like a little kid who just shit his pants and is trying to convince everyone that he didn't shit his pants.

At any rate, those visages inspire confidence.

L.A. Trash...

And I'm not talking about the homeless people. Just imagine that this pickup truck is a Rolls Royce...

So, I was walking over to New Japan when I saw this asshole in a Rolls Royce park where this pick-up truck is (I didn't have my camera on me-I took the picture 5 minutes too late). Anyways, this prick zoomed up, neglected to put his change in the meter, immediately got a ticket from a meter maid, ran into the 7-11 to get a squishy, and then came back to take the ticket off his windshield. The only reaction he had to the ticket was a scoff, which said: "This is chump change to me". It didn't even bother him that he got a ticket. He's much too rich and classy to carry chump change for parking meters with him, unless the chump change is in denominations of Jackson. All I could think was: "what a fucking asshole". He could have put the change in the meter and gave the sixty dollars for the ticket to the homeless veterans (most of the homeless in this area are veterans let out of the veterans center right up the street-more on this later). Well, that's this wonderful country for you. I don't know about you, but I'm getting sick and tired of people like that guy in the Rolls Royce.

How much education is really worth to America...

One of the many fringe benefits of teaching in L.A....

Wow! How generous of Kleenex! Another great corporation investing in America's future! Don't forget that teachers end up spending the most money on their brand anyways. I myself have gone through ten boxes this year! Not to mention, two boxes in the last week.

Well, this horrendous virus has kept me down for the last week, and as a result I haven't spent much time editing my book. For those of you who care I'll be posting sample chapters from my book at the month regardless if I finish the last edit or not. In the mean time keep reading the blog. I'm going to start blogging about my substitute teaching experience, although the best episodes from my experience have already been incorporated into the novel.

Stay well,
Skomalley