Why is Rambo Back?

Because America needs a good old-fashion revenge movie to help us feel tough and all-powerful again. What better way to sooth the sting of our bruised, bloated tough guy, All-American egos then with Hollywood reality? Kick ASS! Sad thing is I’m going to see this movie. Yeah, I’m a chump. I like movies that make me feel tough when I walk out of the theater.

Maybe, if we’re lucky Chuck Norris will bring back the Delta Force and Invasion U.S.A and shit, but this time with Arab terrorists instead of Russians.

Man, do I miss the Russians as bad guys in movies. They were so bad ass.

We Have Our Own Brains...

...we just choose not to use them, sometimes, kind of like you arrogant American intellectuals. After-all, we're all equally human. Thus, equally flawed in our hypocritical, grandiose, self-righteous natures. Oh, and my cock is this big. And ha, we have nukes too! See, we're just as civilized as you arrogant Westerners! Nanny, nanny, boo, boo! I do what I want!

DARK DAYS, INDEED

The day I turned twenty-nine will always be remembered as the day Heath Ledger died. Damn, dude was only two-months younger than me. Then the stock-market almost crashed, a suicide bomber blew up a school in Iraq, and there was a crazy bank robbery in L.A. complete with money raining from the sky. Happy Birthday! I guess my luck is infectious.

Worrying is just unorganzied thinking...

....or at least that's whats my grandfather told me the other day. Stop worrying, organize your thoughts, figure out the problems that are getting to you, figure out how to solve them, and then solve them. Simple enough, so stop worrying. One of my new years resolutions is to not worry so much. It's easier said than done, unless you're a first generation German immigrant who earned his stripes as an American fighting in the Pacific during WWII. In other words, my grandfather's got a little more grit than I, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try. Currently, I am relaxing and not worrying too much in Lake Arrowhead. For the few people who actually read this newborn blog that means I will be taking a break for a few days. Next week I'm going to add all new content that includes:

1) Archives: Political, Sports, Celebrity, Personal Life, Public Education Essays/Adventures, and "The future of America is now" section (pictures of really annoying children/teenagers a la "vice lands do's and don'ts", except for school age kids that are complete tools).

2) Slide Shows.

3)Linked Blogs I like and websites I like.

4) Polls

Stay tuned and check up on the old content. Leave a few comments too, especially if I enrage you. Until next time, peace.

C'MON, ISIAH!

That's right, Isiah. Start the kid, it's the only choice you have that makes sense (which may be the problem). But look at it this way: what do you have to lose? You're a joke and so is your team. Zach Randolph, Eddie Curry, Stephon Marbury, and Jamal Crawford are all over-rated (in their own minds they're the best players in the NBA at least) cry baby, ball hogs who aren't that good. Then you got this second year player who is an efficient, unselfish player who everybody loves to watch play. To top things off the little guy who can jump over most big guys is a great guy off the court. So C'mon, Isiah. Start the kid. Make the decision that makes sense, and don't be an ass for once in your career as a gm/coach.

Edwards, Obama take aim at the land of milk and honey...

A devout Obama supporter displays his support for the abstract of change. What the concrete of change will be no one seems to know, but "the people" are all really excited by the idea of it. However, if it involves getting our hands dirty, raising taxes, or drastically altering our everyday lifestyles than the people won't be so excited about it (unless the change is easy, and involves a remote control, which it never does). After-all, people don't really like change, they're afraid of it. That's why change rarely happens, and when it does it's baby steps (because baby steps are easy and we're lazy). Then again, this is a election year and anything and everything is possible! Of course, once it's over it's back to sinking knee deep and getting deeper in our collective, All-American bullshit lies."My mommy let me hold this sign for the chocolate man."
-young Obama supporter

"Yeah, I know I don't stand a chance, but what the hell."
-Johnny Boy Edwards



Yeah, that's the spirit! That's the way I feel about my life and the state of humanity in general too!

If you don't like our government, well at least it's not China...

If this guy was an American he would be a multi-millionare now thanks to the lawsuit he would have won for government intimidation on top of all the money he would have gotten from various news outlets for all the pictures he took of Chinese government officials beating up villagers. But instead he's in a shallow grave if he's lucky. If he's really lucky they didn't torture him to death.

No matter how bad things get in America I can always look to China for inspiration concerning my life. I'm also thankful that we shipped all our manufacturing there, so I could save a few bucks at the store. Gotta love that Chinese forced child labor too, it really makes the toys we buy for our kids cheap. I wonder how many people died or are extremely sick from them building their Olympic Stadium?

My, oh my, has the world gotten away from itself, or maybe back to the sad truth of the matter? Only time will tell, as it always has. On the other hand, it's looking profitable to invest in the Chinese Market, so what the hell?

Bob Marley said it best...

"now you get what you want, don't you want more"...



R.I.P., young prince of America, we are merely your greedy, voyeuristic paupers looking for our next fix from behind the judgmental safety of our t.v. and computer screens. After-all, this is America and it's nobodies fault but everybody else's.





I guess the dream wasn't enough to fill your greedy soul. But it's not your fault, you're only human. Poor guy. Maybe humanity can learn from your loss, or maybe not? It'll be just another night on the town for the Laguna Beach/Hills crowd, and you'll be the hot gossip for a week or two. Then everyone will forget, and move onto devouring the soul of their next victim of stardom. We just can't get enough, it's in our natures.

We love to raise 'em high, and then burn 'em down. Just ask this young princess of America.





God have mercy on our dirty little hearts.

Britney just can't get enough, and neither can we. People like to say it was just a matter of time before she went insane, but the fact of the matter is the American public went insane a long time ago. That's why our society creates people like this. These children are the harvest of the seeds we have sown in our society.

All-American Pastime

Baseball, the great American pastime and a reflexion of the American values of hard-work, grit, honesty, teamwork, and holding oneself accountable to his or her actions. Of course, that's what it used to be. However, it is still a reflexion, of what you'll just have to ask yourself.

These guys don't look like they have anything to hide.

These guys don't look too shady.

Sometimes things don't work out the way we planned, especially in L.A.

Where did she go wrong? Everything was going so well. She was going to be a big star, on-top of the world like the millions of lost dreamers that flock to this great land of ours every day.

After-all, you know you've hit it big when you're doing photo-ops for the guys who get off on pictures of hot chicks with guns. Next thing you know you'll be hangin' with the biggest meth dealer in the country, doing your meth for free, and kidnapping and torturing people for kicks.

Or maybe not, another one bites the dust.

Where we going?

Where we going? Change, oh yeah, great. I was worried about where we were going.

Another Wonderful World leader...

Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf was to appeal for calm and national unity Wednesday after the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, with a delay in elections due to be announced later in the day.The following is the English, for dummies translation:

Be peaceful and calm, my people who don’t even want me in power. Ha, ha, f*cking peasants! I was just throwing this out there, ya know? No, I guess you don’t, because you are idiot peasant scum, and you my bitches. Aahahahah, as if it matters! I know you’d much rather run around killing each other, setting off bombs, and screaming loud religious slogans at one another. After all, it’s much more interesting than being tolerant of each other’s differences, co-existing, and living in relative peace and harmony with one another. But again, I’d just like to throw that one out there, before I declare marshall law again, and start shooting people dead in the street for looking at me funny, or I just plain don’t like for whatever reason. Peace out and Allah Akbar, beyothces. I gots the U.S. government backing me. I’m kind of like Saddam or Bin Laden before they decided they didn’t like them. Oh, and don’t worry “free-world”, our nuclear arsenal is completely safe and I won’t sell it or leak information or anything. You can count on me! George W. Bush likes me. If his name doesn’t spell credibility and democracy I don’t know what does.

Hillary, the All-American

Time magazine recently asked what Hillary Clinton believes in/stands for. It has been a reoccurring question from the start, and will continue to come op until the election is over, she loses, and the destiny of America’s demise is sealed when Mike Huckabee is elected president. But that’s beside the point.

So, what does Hillary Clinton really stand for? It’s a very simple answer and comes down to one word: winning, or more specifically winning at all costs. Hillary is so American that it hurts. She epitomizes everything it means to be an All-American that it makes me cringe when her rivals attack her for being soft, or un-American. She’s anything but! All she cares about is winning and she’ll do anything, pay any amount of money necessary, shift her position or maintain her position she previously flipped flopped on through the use of her expert rhetoric (she can talk her way in or out of anything), sacrifice anything or anyone, lop-off whoever’s heads are necessary, or feed any friend or foe to the wolves so long as it profits her. In-fact, she neither has friend or foe, just people she uses to get what she wants out of this world for herself and her proud, individual American dream. After-all, the individual is more important than society. And that’s why we’re all going to get ours (selfish dreams), especially Hillary. God bless, America.

Holy sh*t, they believed that sh*t. They're even dumber than I thought.

Take me to your leader, Mike Huckabee

Mike Huckabee is rockin’ a sweet base-lick with his homie of faith Chuck Norris, AKA: Walker Texas Ranger, The Mad Dog Commando from a series of two-bit Vietnam revenge fantasy movies, or that guy who got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee.

The scary thing is that this jack ass could win for the same reason Bush did: Americans like him because they think they can sit down and have a beer with him, and he even has a great sense of humor and likes Chuck Norris jokes like we do. Not mention, he’s even friends with Chuck Norris. Oh, but he doesn’t drink and he thinks the Universe was created 10,000 years ago. Fucking shoot me if he wins, we’re fucking done. If there is in-fact intelligent life watching our planet they would officially deem the human race unintelligent life if he wins, and doom us for extinction. But who can blame them when a guy with a name like Huckabee is elected leader of the free world? Did I mention Chuck Norris has got his back? Watch out Aliens. We might not get along, believe the Universe was created 10,000 years ago, and we elected Bush twice followed by a yokel named Huckabee…, but you’ve never seen a divinely inspired, good old-fashioned Chuck Norris drop kick. Take that death rays, bad guys, playa-hatas, and Al Queda too. Chuck Norris representin’ Mike Huckabee, fo shizal!

Heil Huckabee!

So this is my first bloggg...So what?

So, I've joined the countless other self-important bloggers of the universe who think that what they have to say is so much better than what everyone else has to say, and if only everyone would just listen to what they had to say everything would be okay. It used to be that one would have to get published and/or try to make a movie or something to gain that luxury. Not anymore, thanks to the internet! And so, my story goes...

This is my shameless attempt to try to market myself and my product. I will include much more content in the future. In other news, I got kicked off the New York Giants Vs. Dallas Cowboys chat board on espn.com yesterday during the game for posting such words of wisdom as:

1)Tony Romo needs to take lessons on his gag-reflex from Jessica Simpson so he doesn't choke so hard on the GIANT MEN.

2)Tony Romo is the MVP of the league-of-choke, well, him and Jessica Simpson.

3)Why is Tony taking Jason Witten on his romantic getaway with Jessica? I guess we all know who Tony's real favorite tight-end is.

And, of course we all know why T.O. is really crying. He's just sad that Tony and Jason didn't invite him on their little freaky deeky getaway. -uck disneyland! Tony and Jason have got Jessica!