Tuesday, February 26, 2008

And the winner is!

Big Ass, No Tits...

Congratulations on subjecting your body to the scrutiny of millions of asshole Americans!
Check her out at www.egotastic.com

Girl would have never made it as a stripper in L.A. Inglewood, maybe. Minnesota, definitely.
Good thing this girl can write.

I wonder how many dirty old men in Minnesota are telling stories in a bar right now about how they got a lap-dance from an Oscar winner?

That's not to say I wouldn't totally rock that. Well, if I didn't already have a girlfriend. God damn it, I just can't help myself. She's going to kill me for saying that.

No hard feelings, Diablo. First your body, then your mind, and finally your soul. Welcome to L.A. Stay clean, baby. If you turn into the Amy Winehouse or Brittany Spears of writing I'm going to shoot myself. Anyways, we all love you so. Keep up the great work!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Spoiler Strikes Back?

THE N FACTOR

DARTH NADER
"Kerrrr...Kerrrr...I'd rather stroke my overly idealistic ego than step aside...Kerrrr...Kerrrr...And let a Democrat win. Kerrrrr...Kerrrrrr...I secretely love the Republicans. Kerrr...Kerrr."

Friday, February 22, 2008

Edumacation...

So, I 've decided to start posting my education papers/responses. This is one I just responded to. I'll post more in the future, and possibly links to the pdfs. You could also probably find the articles on Google. However, I may not post the articles unless I get a large response because the original articles themselves are incredibly boring to read. Therefore, it's not worth my time to post the whole article.


Inequality and the Right to Learn: Access to Qualified Teachers in California Public Schools


Linda Darling-Hammond

Stanford University



The main problem I have with high-minded educational solution articles such as this is the one question that always comes to my mind. Why don’t the writers themselves teach in the urban school districts they’re trying to fix? That’s the crux of the problem-the best educational minds don’t even want to get their hands dirty; they’d rather just talk about it from the safety of their ivory towers. It’s easy to criticize urban school districts for not hiring “highly-qualified teachers” when they themselves won’t teach in them. And if they had taught in them, it was for a short time-a stepping stone to a more illustrious career in academia. This may seem cynical, but the truth often is.


I also don’t like how authors such as Darling-Hammond always look to other states for solutions to problems that are unique to California. For example, Connecticut (which she uses heavily as the basis for her solution) is nothing like California. Citizens in states such as Connecticut have a predominantly distinct community identity and values that feed into the success of schools; compared to California which is a hodgepodge of opposing interest groups, identities, and community values.


New testing and accountability systems in California fail to work because the parents and community at large aren’t drawn into the accountability equation. In states such as Connecticut there is more of a sense of group community identity and individual accountability that’s instilled into the individual student at a young age; where as in California a sense of self-entitlement, exaggerated individuality, and placing blame on the teachers and schools for one’s failure supersedes personal and community responsibility. These factors all contribute to the success or failure of accountability measures in both states.


In addition, the author complains about bureaucracy hindering teachers from out of state coming into California to teach, yet her recommendations for solutions entail increasing the bureaucracy. This makes no sense what-so-ever, which is why it makes sense that California’s public school system keeps failing. Most of the solutions brought about by educational scholars are logically contradictory, not to mention cater to the intellectual fads of overly idealistic scholars who hide from the real world and its problems while casting blame from above on everyone getting their butts kicked by the real world below. Emergency credentialed teachers and the like are necessary for the simple fact that high-minded educational intellectuals who have all the answers (like Darling-Hammond) won’t put their money where their mouths are, and teach in the inner-cities for an extended time period themselves.


Furthermore, most top private schools only require a college degree to get a job, and they do just fine as teachers. The reason is because the community at large as well as the individual student has had a strong sense of personal responsibility and accountability instilled in them from a very young age. As a result, classroom management problems are relatively non-existent, and the teacher’s energy can be primarily focused on teaching instead of classroom management issues (which is the main problem in California public schools if you ask me). You can fund the schools all you want, but if the students are going to destroy and steal the resources, act up in class, and not be pressured at home by the community to do their homework (value education) then it’s not going to make that big a difference. Efforts by academia and politicians need to be focused on fixing the broken communities, families, splintered identities, and the dysfunctional mentality of the community at large before they can expect to fix the public school system.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Very, very distracted...

with finishing up the final (hopefully) revision of my novel "The Land of Lost Dreams". I will be posting new material soon, including excerpts from the novel (hopefully, by the end of March at the very latest). One of these days I'm going to go crazy on blogger and drop like ten new articles along with new formats/features. You just wait and see. I'll show them, I'll show them all-including you. They never should have doubted me. But I will thank them in the end for it, because surprises are always that much better. People love surprises, especially when they've underestimated the tenacity of a stubborn bastard. Nobody expected this, even me. Ahaahahahahhaha! Until then...




No, really, I'm actually quite modest. I just saw this picture and inspiration struck like lightening. I just had to blog it.

Friday, February 15, 2008

America will buckle underneath the weight of the pillars of our society...






...not to mention the rest of the human race as well...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Look at that face...


...no wonder she can't get votes. We like things superficial, hollow, and pretty in America. C'mon, go get some botox, start blowing hot air, or start throwing high-minded promises that you can't possibly keep out there or something. Think: "read my lips, no new taxes" or an abstract notion of "change" without outlining exactly how you're going to do it (we don't need specifics, just grandiose speeches). That's what America really wants. Get with the program, gaaaawd.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire...



Roger
"Hey, Andy I've injected myself with B-12."

Andy
"You've injected yourself with HGH?"

Roger
"No, I've injected myself with B-12. What are you deaf or something? How do you mix up up the words B-12 with HGH? They don't even sound alike."

Andy
"Oh yeah, I guess I was mistaken, sorry buddy. So, you injected yourself with HGH?"

Roger
"No! You horses ass! How could your even get the words B-12 mixed up with the words HGH? They're completely different! HGH doesn't even have numbers in it, and it's a steroid, and steroids are for cheaters! I'm no cheater! How could you even think I'd do something like that?"

Andy
Because you just told me you injected yourself with HGH, among other highly suspect comments you made throughout the years about how "you've turned a corner" and how "everything is going to be different from now on."

Roger
"Yeah, because I'm taking vitamin B-12, and that shit is the bomb. Look what it did for Barry!"

Andy
"Okay, yeah, sure you're on B-12."

Roger
"You better believe it, and don't get mistaken, buddy. You know how much trouble I would get into if people knew I was on HGH!? Man, I don't even want to think about it, so make sure you get it straight and remember, B-12, okay, buddy?"

Andy
"Yeah, okay, sure. Now that I think of it I don't know how could I get B-12 mixed up with HGH in the first place? I guess it's because I'm a stupid athlete. They don't even sound the same, and B-12 has a number in it. I'll never be mistaken, again."

Roger
"Your ass better not, or it's my ass."


From now on "The Rocket" will not refer to how fast he can throw fastballs, but how fast he can spin lies.

Monday, February 11, 2008

The Disclosure Project....

After watching numerous shows on UFOs, including the History channel's "UFO Hunters" I've come to the partial conclusion that we are merely an ant-farm. In other words, we're a gigantic experiment designed by little gray men with big heads, small bodies, and bug eyes. Our DNA is a genetic code set to carry out a program in relation to other humans’ genetic codes interacting with one another. Hence, society becomes a program in itself as well, which interacts in congruence with the other programs (individuals) that reciprocate it and vice-versa. Thus, Herododus’s cycle of history-a downward spiral of a program winding down only to start itself over again. And all programs come to end, just like civilizations, and individual lives. So don't complain, at least we get to see the end. Imagine if you were the poor bastard caveman who had to sit around and watch the start. Borrrring. I prefer the end-this is the end. This is the truth. Well, at least for most of us.

As much as I love Berkeley, hate Bush, and was against the war I just have to say this...





Yeah, too bad if it wasn’t for the Marines a lot of those exciting, unusual people would come over here and kill you. Fucking Bezerkeley logic, get a life. The Marines are necessary whether you like it or not. And the individual soldier shouldn’t be degraded and disrespected like that. They’re human-beings too, you know. Not just robotic, evil monsters who heed the beck and call of Bush because they want to, and they like killing people. It’s their duty to follow orders, no matter who gives them. That’s the only way a military works. You can’t be having every soldier asking questions on the battlefield because it wouldn’t work smoothly, and more people would end up dying on the battlefield as a result. Not to mention, you’d never get enough soldiers united to mount an effective fighting force to get anything done. In other words, it’d be like Berkeley High School-a bunch of squabbling factions who can’t get anything done while the whole world falls apart around them. Thank God for the Marines, because without them you wouldn’t be able to stage ridiculous rallies about how you hate the Marines.


Oh, and notice how most of the protesters are old ladies and men, which is what the Berkeley City council is primarily made up of. They smoked too much grass and took too much acid in the sixties to understand the concept of logic. They also don't realize that their pipe dreams already went up in smoke a long time ago. It's a brave new world, indeed. It's going to be fun to watch it fall apart. What am I talking about? It isn't going to be fun, it's a blast! Not to mention, freakin' hilarious. People are such idiots. We deserve this harvest we are reaping-the whole of humanity does.


In continuation of this rant...

Out on Shattuck Avenue, it appears the protesters have no plans to leave anytime soon. "We are the civilian population; we control the military," Adams said. "We the people have to take back our control of the military.

As usual, Berkeley is arrogant and self-righteous enough to assume they’re the voice of everyone and everything.

I’ll also take this statement down another path of Berkeley logic. How do you imagine in your tripped out brains that you take back control of the military if they’re all a bunch of evil Bushies with guns who shoot people for kicks? What are you going to do? Stick a flower in their gun and blow bubbles on them or something? Or how about a big hug and a Beatles song? Yeah, that’ll work. Across the universe, baby.


Friday, February 8, 2008

God Damn, that was quick...

Less than a minute after I posted my first poll someone voted. Here I was adding a few new questions, when it suddenly froze up and wouldn't let me save the change because "somebody already voted". Damn it, and I thought no one read this! Well, thanks for voting, I guess.

Oh, and for anyone out there who cares I got my edit of "The Land of Lost Dreams" back and will be implementing the criticisms/edits on Monday. It's looking good, people. I'm excited, for once. Yay! Have a nice weekend. I'll be making upgrades to the site in the future (no, really this time).

Peace and I hope you have a nice weekend.

Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


LOOK OUT BELOW!

A. Wino Applying For Her Visa...

Whaaaat!? I can't believe they rejected her!? Don't they know she's rich and famous!?



REHAB, The Remix Album:

"They said I needed to go to rehab, and I said no, no, no. Then I was, like, fuck it. I don't want to be another celebrity, drug-addict, cliche that ends up ODing."

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Where's the Faith?


C'mon, Mitt, I thought Mormon Jesus had your back? Where's the faith? You know Jesus doesn't like quitters. Even Huckabee has more sack than you. The sad thing is you know that.

You're a fraud, a crook, a flip-flopper! Go back to screwing the little guy while you line you and your fat cat corporate friends' pockets while you simultaneously praise the Lord's name.

You know, Jesus hates hypocrites more than fags, illegal-immigrants, liberals, John McCain and pro-choice advocates. And that's why Jesus hates America. At least the real Jesus from the Bible, not the Republican Jesus.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Hi, my name is Tiki Barber and I'm a fucking douche bag...

Actually, I found this picture under the heading: "Never doubt Tiki". I have no idea what douchebag named this photo, but it was probably some guy named Ronde.

Don't let Tiki's million dollar smile, Italian Suit, or 12 inch pet anachonda fool you. He is not a nice guy, nor cool. Tiki Barber is now officially the biggest bag stabbing, douche-bag in all of sports. And it will now be anything but hard not to doubt Tiki, especially when he's making live in game analysis of players. Yeah, you know I'll really take what he says to heart the next time he is sizing up a player on national television. This is Tiki, man, and his name is congruent with credibility. After-all, this is the football guru who retired at the peak of his career so he could write a tell all book about how his quarterback was a total pussy that folds under the least amount of pressure, would never lead his team to a super-bowl, and that he might as well retire as long as he was quarterback.

Well, apparently Eli couldn't lead his team to victory when he had a big mouthed runningback talking shit behind his back in the locker room all day instead of supporting the young kid who had a tremendous amount of pressure on him-youngest Manning, number 1 pick, and playing in New York. You'd think Tiki could be the all around nice guy we all know him to be and show the kid a little support, or at least be a good teammate/sportsman and keep his big mouth shut.

Nah, Tiki prefers to stab his teammates in the back. And that's why Tiki is the all time biggest douchebag of a teammate in the history of all sports. I can't wait until he has to announce Eli's first game back next season. No, I can't wait until he has to show his face in New York again.



Aahahaaahahaha!

Saturday, February 2, 2008